Wairarapa
Pfizer #1: Unknown
I’m 34, and a mother of 3 children, aged 2 and a half, 12 and 13. I was a full time support worker up until my last pregnancy in 2019 when I developed bad anxiety in the first trimester (I’m not sure what bought it on) and ended up finishing up at work earlier than when I would have gone on maternity leave. I’ve always been creative, and consider myself an artist, primarily a painter, and love doing this in my spare time.
Prior to the Covid vaccine, I’d never before had a vaccine. My father is a health practitioner and had done a lot of research around vaccines and had made the decision not to vaccinate us kids. When I was at intermediate, I’d had kids question me about it, so had started doing my own research then, as I wanted to be able to give them the answers why. Through that, I made the decision that I would not have any vaccines in future. When the Covid vaccine came out, I knew straight away that I would not have it. I hadn’t even needed to look into it – but when I started getting pressured by those around me, I started researching so I would have information to give them, so they could make an informed decision as well.
Over this time In 2021, I was going through custody dealings with the family court with the father of my two eldest children – My 13-year-old had always lived with me, and my 12-year-old had always lived with their Dad. When the vaccine became available, I got a lot of phone calls and text messages from their father, his partner, and his family about getting the kids and myself vaccinated. My lawyer also messaged me to do it, saying it would make everything easier. I ended up going through a mediation process as the children’s father, and his family’s view, was that he wouldn’t have contact with the 13-year-old if they hadn’t had their Pfizer vaccine, and I couldn’t have contact with my 12-year-old who lived with him if they, and I, weren’t vaccinated. The mediator had agreed with them, so I had no support at the time. I somewhat disassociated myself through this, because it was just so unbelievable that it was even happening. It was so sick. I just held on to the belief that the right thing would happen, and I wasn’t going to give in at that point.
My partner (my baby’s father) had been all for the vaccine. He apparently understood my views, and hadn’t pressured me, but his family made me have a meeting with them, and I felt cornered with them telling me that this was something that I had to do, and it was about putting the kids first, and that if I didn’t do it, I wouldn’t be able to associate with the family, and they would take me to court if they had to.
My brother’s wife was also expecting a baby, and they had said that no one was to have contact with them or the baby if they weren’t fully vaccinated.
I went along with my partner for his vaccine on the 16th of October 2021 at the ‘Super Saturday’ event at Mitre10. We were in the tent and the person administering the vaccine asked when I would get mine. I said, “No way, I’m not getting one”. She gave me a disgusted look and said to me, “You are going to find it very hard; you won’t be able to work again or go anywhere”. I had worked in healthcare my whole life and wanted to go back to the job I loved. I went outside and cried, I needed support in that moment, and to speak to my Dad, so tried calling him but he didn’t answer, so I called my brother as I thought he had the same views as me, but he didn’t. He told me the same thing, that I won’t be able to work without it (He knew how passionate I was about my job) and I wouldn’t be able to go to a shop or anything. So I went and sat down and let them poison me with the Pfizer vaccine – then regretted it immediately.
My whole body went hot, I felt dizzy, and I said to my partner “We need to go home right now”. We went home and I went to bed and slept. When I woke up, I had a sore arm, headache and I felt uneasy, and slightly dizzy. My partner said that it’s probably normal, so I asked him if he felt like that and he said he didn’t, then told me it’s probably my anxiety because I was thinking that something was going to go wrong. I felt differently but was telling myself that my partner was probably right. Everyone else that I’d spoken to was fine after they had theirs – maybe my body is confused by it, because I’ve never had a vaccination before.
The next day, I still had a headache and didn’t think too much of it, it was just irritating, but when I woke up on the Monday, my whole world changed. I’ve never been so terrified. I thought I was going to either pass out or die, and all I could think about was that someone needed to come and be with the kids. My whole body was trembling, even my jaw, and my body felt sore and heavy. I’d never experienced anything like it, it didn’t seem human. I was dizzy and felt like I had been drugged. I struggled to breathe, I just couldn’t get in enough air, and my speech was impaired, I couldn’t get words out and my heart was racing. The heartbeats were so intense that with every beat it felt like I was being thumped in the chest. For moments I couldn’t feel a pulse and then it was like my heart would catch up with palpitations, My vision was like someone had spiked my drink and everything was closed in. I called my partner, and he just told me to go and rest, so I then managed to call Healthline, who said to take some ibuprofen and lie down, so I repeated again what was happening and said something was seriously wrong, that I need help and there are kids here. They said they were going to send an ambulance, but then called me back to tell me they weren’t going to send an ambulance, and that I just needed to rest. I rang my partner’s mum, who lived 3 hours away and she didn’t know what to do but she sent her sister who lives in the area, around to my house to look after the baby. About that time my sister also turned up at my house. She was shocked seeing me pale and trembling, she’d never seen me like this before. She realised what had done this, and I begged her to not get the vaccine. My baby went with my partner’s aunty, and my 13-year-old stayed with me. I slept as much as I could to try and get better. My anxiety was crazy.
I called Healthline two days later to let them know I still wasn’t well and they told me it was probably a reaction to the vaccine, to get some rest and I’ll be fine.
About two weeks post-vaccine, I went to my GP, when I was ‘allowed’ to book an appointment. I was required to be cleared through a Covid testing station before they would let me book. My GP was good and supportive, but I felt like he couldn’t say too much, and he wasn’t much help. He wasn’t there much longer after that, so I went to a new doctor, but was told that my symptoms are all in my head. Because I’ve suffered with my mental health, I felt that was the excuse that would be used for everything now.
I had months of tremors and feeling generally unwell and like I was never going to get better. My partner ended up moving out and taking our baby because I barely had the capacity to look after myself at the time. It was about 4 months before the trembling mostly subsided, but ever since, I’ve still had exhaustion, brain zaps, heart palpitations, general weakness, brain fog, confusion, and breathing difficulties, with my symptoms worsening if I’m really tired.
About a month after the vaccine, and my second post-vaccine period. I experienced some quite large clots, which have continued to occur, and bleeding more than once a month. I’ve already had my period twice in January and am feeling like I’m going to get it again. I also had to have an Iron infusion a few months ago.
My oldest who lives with me did not have the vaccine. They were asking for it because they didn’t want to be rejected by their family and friends. There was a lot of alienation and manipulation, being told that if they don’t get it, it means their mother doesn’t care about or love them. The 12yo had it and was happy to have it. The 2 and a half year old, I’m not sure. My ex-partner and family changed health centres, and I’ve been excluded from any information. He’s been told by my lawyer not to exclude me from those things, but we can’t force him not to. I have another new doctor but have just kept quiet about the vaccine from being dismissed when trying to get help from so many avenues. I’m doing a lot of detox and chiro adjustments and making sure I’m putting good stuff in my body – by some miracle I’m hoping the bad stuff will get out.
With the time I have on my hands at the moment, I’ve kept myself busy making personalised crafts and trying to sell them for extra money. I can’t do much as I constantly feel nauseous, and don’t even feel like the same person. I feel depressed and angry, and just can’t believe the vaccine is still getting put into people. I should be in the prime of my life but feel like all my choices have been taken away, and that I may never be able to do the work that I love again.